What a father's day
by The Sacred Pandapuff
Summary: It's father's day and Ed & Al decide to cook a cake for Roy! Ed is a horrible cook, so the task is not easy. Roy has his own problems with paperwork, and he makes one of the biggest mistakes in his life when he gives the two minors beer. Parental!RoyEd


Hello again! I got this idea a few days ago and now I just tried to write it down. I hope you enjoy it, I know I did while I was writing it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

**_NOTICE: In this fic Al has gotten his body back. And Ed also has his limbs back, though I don't mention it._**

* * *

**WHAT A FATHER'S DAY...**

Al woke up to a terrible BOOM from the kitchen on that day. Not very pleasant way to wake up, he had to admit. Where the heck did it even came from? He jumped up and ran downstairs.

When he reached the kitchen he saw Ed cooking. Wait, WHAT? Ed never cooked! Was he ill? Was he OK? Should he lay down for a while? Or was Al ill, just imaging all those things?

"Brother, what the heck are you doing?" he asked still shocked while Ed grabbed a wet rag and walked to the little white microwave oven in the corner.

"Cooking. Though, it's harder than I thought. Do you know why the egg exploded?" he asked curiously while cleaning the now very dirty and stinking micro.

Al shook his head sadly. "Brother, you're beyond help. Never, EVER put eggs in there again, OK? Just… boil them or fry them, but never put them in there again. What are you even trying to cook?"

Ed blushed. "I was thinking… a sort of… cake."

"Cake? Why? You eat way too much delicacies. What if we would just forget it this time?" Al begged. He really didn't want to see what would come out when Ed cooked. And where did he even get the idea of putting that egg in the micro? He had to be out of his mind!

Ed looked down embarrassed. "Al… do you know what day is it?"

"Nope. Why do you ask? Is it something special? I usually never forget things!" Al yelled surprised.

"Well, I think we haven't thought about this day pretty much ever. It's… the father's day." Al stared at him.

"And… why would we care about it this time?" Al's voice was hesitant.

"You know… Roy has taken good care of us, don't you think? It's been four years since we got in here, and he's always been looking after us, helping us and all. He even lets us stay here with him, he isn't scared that we'll blow this place up if he goes to work and leaves us in here alone."

_Yeah, he isn't scared about that. But maybe he should be, especially on father's day, _Al thought. "Yeah, he's been pretty much like a father, I guess. But I can't really say, when I don't even remember what our father was like."

Ed's face strained. "You shouldn't compare people to him, especially father-type. He wasn't a good father, he left us. He never even wrote a letter." His voice was filled with rage and despair. Even though Ed always said that he never missed their father, Al knew he did. He saw it in his golden, usually so determined eyes when somebody mentioned him. The usual glow of his eyes disappeared always at that moment and left weak dullness what seemed to change his eye colour into a darker shade. It was pretty scary.

"I'm sorry. So, you think we should bake a cake?" Al asked, trying to change the subject. It was his luck that Ed neither wanted to go on with the last subject.

"Yeah. Want to help?" he asked smiling, his expression soft and determined again.

"Sure! I can't let you cook alone, I don't even want to think what you'll come up with next."

"Hey, was that an insult?!"

"Nope, just a statement."

"It better be…"

Al swallowed, fear in his eyes. Then Ed burst out.

"You don't have to be that scared! You're making me feel like I would be a bad brother…"

Al giggled. "Oh, and you aren't? At all?"

"Stop it Al, show some respect! I got your body back!"

"You wouldn't have been able to got it back without my help!" Al hissed.

"Are you OK, you barely ever hiss", Ed said, confused. Al giggled.

"I'm fine. Let's just go on with the cooking, he's coming home again in eight hours, right?"

"Yep. So we should get started."

And so they started working, Al looking after his brother so he wouldn't be able to blow the house up. That was the kind of father's day gift he really didn't want to give to Roy. But unfortunately, Ed managed to put one more egg in the microwave oven ("WHY DID YOU PUT IT IN THERE?! I ALREADY TOLD YOU NOT TO!") and drop too much sugar in the pastry ("Don't be mad Al, I just looked the instruction wrong! At least it tastes still good! I actually like it better this way…"). It was impossible to cook with that helpless brother of his.

* * *

Colonel Roy Mustang sat in his office, doing paperwork. Oh yes, the paperwork that never seems to leave his desk. Or does it leave, but get back doubled? Only a few people truly knows. Others could just guess.

"Riza, come on. Some people got this day off, and you're not even letting me get a break! It's not fair" he whined irritated. He was in a very bad mood. Paperwork does that.

"I won't let you leave before you finish at least that pile. I know that you won't come back if I'll do the mistake of letting you go on a break. I won't fall for the same trick twice." She didn't even look up to the colonel. Just sat in her chair singing a few papers.

"I forgot it at that time, I'm sorry! Please..!"

"No, you're staying here. And if you would just stop complaining and get back to work, you'd get out much faster."

Roy sighed and got back to his paperwork. After a few hours of cursing and yawning he managed to complete the pile.

"I'm done with it now, can I go?" he asked irritated.

1st lieutenant Riza Hawkeye stood up and walked to check his work. She was flipping through the pages.

"OK… everything seems to be fine… wait, what is this?" she asked looking shocked to a little picture on the bottom of the paper that seemed like a kid's drawing.

"Err… It's… a picture?" Roy asked blushing.

"I can tell that. But… is this a _monkey fucking a coconut? _You can't be serious!" Her eyes were wide open, trying to get any other explanation to the picture.

"Err… yes? I was pretty bored, you know."

"But… why a picture _like this?_" she said now facing him.

"I don't know. It just sort of popped into my mind."

Riza looked at Roy for a while in silence. "Maybe you should go home and take some rest."

"Thanks! I love you!" Roy screamed out of joy and kissed Riza quickly on her cheek and ran out of the building. Shocked and extremely red Riza lifted her hand on her cheek, on the very spot Roy had just kissed her.

"He must really be ill…"

* * *

"Welcome back, Roy!" Two golden haired boys with adorable eyes yelled when he stepped in his apartment.

"Nice to see you too. Why's the sudden happiness? Usually you don't pay any attention to when I come home", Roy said hugging the two boys tightly. He was pretty happy about the attention he was getting. It was like he would have two kids of his own.

"Well… it's father's day, so we sort of... thought that… you'd be happy" Ed said.

"And why's that?" Roy asked looking at the two hesitant teenagers. "I don't have kids of my own."

"But you have us", Al blurted out. "And… we thought that you'd be like a father figure for us, since we don't have our real one anymore, so we thought that it would be fun to celebrate a little."

Roy glared at them. He was happily surprised. Nothing like this had ever happened to him.

"Yeah… well, what do you want to do?" he asked smiling again.

"Nothing formal! We baked a cake", Ed said.

"That's nice. Is my kitchen still entire?" he asked scared.

"Well… sort of. It's one piece and all, but Ed accidentally broke your microwave oven by putting a few eggs in there", Al said while Ed was blushing furiously.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to break it", he said grumpily.

"Don't worry about it, I can always buy a new one", Roy sighed and fluffed Ed's soft and clean hair. "So, where's the cake?"

They stood up and went to the kitchen where Al took a delicious-looking cake out of the fridge.

"Do you like it?" Al asked after Roy had tasted it. Ed was already busy eating his own piece in a rush but Al was enjoying the taste and eating slowly enough to be able to talk.

"Yeah, it's really good. But… how much did you put sugar in it?" he asked. It was just so sugary. Very sweet-like.

"Err… Ed sort of slipped a little too much in it. He's not very good at cooking."

Roy laughed while Ed was pretending that he wasn't hearing their conversation, but Roy could tell that he did, because his ears were as red as a tomato.

Roy stood up and walked to the fridge.

"Is something wrong?" Al asked concerned.

"Not at all. I'm just thirsty. Hey, here's some beer. Want to have some?"

"Err… Roy we're still minor", Ed chuckled.

"Well, it's the father's day, so maybe we could make an exception." He blinked at the two boys while dragging a few bottles on the table and giving one to both of the boys.

"But don't drink too much. First time is the most affective one, and trust me, you don't want to have a hangover tomorrow."

They spend the next few hours laughing and drinking the beer. Roy felt a little dizzy and he saw that the two boys were getting pretty out of their mind, even though they hadn't drunk that much. Maybe they were ones that were pretty sensitive for alcohol.

The two boys were babbling incomprehensively something about their trips and laughing very loud. How they understood what the other one was saying, if they even did, he really didn't know. He could catch only a few words. He swore that he had heard "Rose", "Winry", "chimera" and "Lab five". But that was it.

"OK, boys, maybe it's better for you to go and take a nap. Alcohol is not for you."

"Aww, Royyyy…!" Ed giggled drunkenly. "I didn't know you were here, how'ya doing? Don'tcha think that butterflies are pwetty… especially yellow ones…"

Roy sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have given the two boys any beer. He had to remember not to ever do that again. He lifted Ed up and started dragging him to his bedroom. Ed was pretty light and at the moment almost perfectly limp. He was already half asleep and the alcohol had messed up his mind so that he didn't even fight against him. When he got Ed to bed he went back to the kitchen where Al was giggling and pointing in the thin air.

"Hehehee… the air is so funny, it's air… We can breath it! Isn't it amazing…?"

Roy grabbed Al as well and dragged him to the other bed in the room. Ed was already asleep when Roy laid the younger boy down. Al looked in his eyes.

"You have funny eyes, they're almost black! Black eyes! I love colours, they're so funny…"

Roy got himself a chair and sit next to Alphonse's bed. He pulled some of the boy's hair off of his face.

* * *

After talking for an half an hour something very weird, Al finally fell asleep. The clock was already half eleven and Roy loafed to his own bedroom.

_What a nightmarish father's day_, was his last thought before falling asleep as well.

* * *

Oh, poor Roy. Never EVER give them alcohol again.

Now, please review!


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